Does a person’s relationship status really matter at this day and age? I remember my mom and aunties telling me and my cousins before that during their time and even before that, “being in a relationship” mattered a lot. In fact, back then, if you reached a certain age and you were still unattached, you were deemed in a pitiful situation. Could you imagine the pressure such a label put on women back then?
Sadly, some of that pressure transcended time and many single ladies are subjected to it. You would think because it’s the 21st century already people would be more accepting of a person’s singleness. However, that isn’t the case.
I’ve seen my fair share of Facebook rants coming from single women who were “relationship-shamed” by no less than their relatives. Imagine attending a family reunion and seeing relatives you haven’t seen in a long time only to be bombarded by questions like, “Why are you still single? You’re not getting any younger.” or “Are you picky? Don’t be. Otherwise, you’ll miss the boat.” What’s more, these supposedly well-meaning relatives ask the questions using their most condescending tone of voice.
Such ideologies push some single people to set a time frame for themselves as far as finding a significant other is concerned. There’s just too much pressure, that they set aside their wants to look for a potential lifetime partner just so such people would stop breathing down their necks. However, more often than not, nothing good comes out of succumbing to pressure, especially the pressure to get into a relationship.
In the case of a single woman being pressured to get into a relationship because of her age, everything could go downhill instead of looking up. That’s because sometimes, in the process of looking for the “supposed” someone special, a woman starts forgetting to look after herself. She starts to conform to other people’s wishes or desires than her own just to “get it over with”.
Your Best Relationship Is with Yourself
Do you see how detrimental that could be? Even if their intentions are good, would you want other people to make the choices for you? That shouldn’t be the case, I think. I believe that you could never be happy in that scenario. In order for you to be truly happy with other people, you have to first learn how to be content and happy alone.
In this case, self love is the best love you could fall into.
I am not promoting the selfish kind of self love here where your mindset is always “me first”. No. The point I am driving here is loving yourself enough to see that you matter, too. Finding a suitable life partner is not the end-all and be-all of your single life. You also need to look after yourself. That is the kind of self love you should immerse yourself in.
Having self love means never forgetting yourself in the process of looking for your one true love. I honestly believe that it’s only when you become in touch with yourself and practice self love that you realize how important it is to first be a whole person before being able to share your life with someone else. I should know. I have been there, and I have done that.
I am well into my 40s, and with my head held high, I am letting you know that I am still single. I have had my fair share of relationships in the past, but I am single at my age by choice. I have this belief that I don’t need a man to make me happy. Heck, I don’t need a man to be complete. I have come to terms with that, and I don’t regret anything.
So, to those who haven’t yet found their someone special, I think it’s great to have this mindset: don’t be in a hurry to get into a relationship; don’t hurry love. Being single might suck at times, but it seriously does have benefits. It’s okay to be single.
You’ll see that it also pays to be single. Just take the time to realize the numerous opportunities and chances that await you and are yours for the taking while you’re still single – opportunities that may be few and far between once you commit yourself to someone other than yourself.
Napakalalim at profound ang artile na ito. Words of wisdom from someone who has been there. Importante talaga na matagpuan muna natin ang ating sarili at magkaroon tayo ng inner peace bago tayo magdesisyong makipagrelasyon sa iba. Pag marami tayong insecurities ay maibabahagi lang natin ito sa karelasyon natin na maaaring humantong sa away at hindi pagkakaunawaan. Sabi nga, learn to love yourself first before you can love someone else. Pag hate natin ang ating sarili ay maaari nating maipasa ang hatred na ito sa ibang tao. If God is at the center of our lives, we have inner pace and joy. Thanks for the post. God bless you always.
oo nga sis, nakakapressure for single person to have a special someone specially when you are already in your 30's. when you have a special someone in your 30's, people around you keep on asking when you'll get married.this is the usual question i get from relatives and friends, minsan nakakainis kasi paulit ulit yung ganitong tanong. but love and marriage should not be hurried because there's a proper time for everything di ba? specially marriage it's not just the wedding day that we should prepare for but what follows after it because it's a commitment for a lifetime.
napahaba yata comment ko. hehehe.